If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
