I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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