i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
not ubering you a puppy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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