i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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