Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She even gives head with a lisp.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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