I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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