it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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