Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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