i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We're too hungover to prance.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
