It's like a parade of train wrecks.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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