This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
