i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
