I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
