he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
