Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
