Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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