We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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