You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
