hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
