at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
