I hate your face
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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