you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
