ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize