why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
