I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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