She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
