True but thats because hes a fetus.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
