also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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