The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
