There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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