nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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