How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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