Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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