I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
