I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
