Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
