yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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