this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
