so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize