Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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