he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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