who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
