At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
