I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
