Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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