Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
