Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
