its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
