Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
