Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
