Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
