I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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