no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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