your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
