i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
