SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
