if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
