we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
