So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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